


Lean on Me

by Strump



Series: Fraywood Brotp [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, Brotp, Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 00:06:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15158129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strump/pseuds/Strump
Summary: It feels like ice and fire curling through her chest simultaneously and she suddenly wonders who sucked all of the fucking air out of the training room because she can’t. Breathe.Clary has a panic attack. Jace and Alec help her through it.





	Lean on Me

            It happens during training, while Clary is facing Isabelle and Alec is standing in the wings with his arms crossed, watching the two girls fight. It comes suddenly, with no warning, and neither of the Lightwoods have enough time to react as Clary drops to her knees, eyes wide, and chokes.

            It feels like ice and fire curling through her chest simultaneously and she suddenly wonders who sucked all of the fucking air out of the training room because she **can’t. Breathe.** She gasps and coughs and curls into herself on the floor, wishing she could disappear into nothing. She hasn’t had one of these in forever, and she’s forgotten what it feels like when the tendrils clench her stomach into one huge knot and her heart is hammering in her chest. She knows that Isabelle and Alec are speaking to her, she can hear them, but it sounds like they’re underwater.

            There’s a scream. Clary knows that it comes from her, but it feels disconnected somehow. Like the person laying on the floor and her are two different people. And then there’s hands. Hands on her shoulders. Hands uncurling her from her ball. Her vision, blurred by tears, focuses on Alec’s face in front of her. The softness of his normally hard eyes, his hands gently wiping tears from her face, should startle her. It only comforts her. She finds herself leaning closer to him, lips trembling, tears still rolling down her cheeks. Alec’s mouth is moving, his hands are grasping the sides of her face, thumbs softly brushing her cheeks. Hands in her hair: Izzy.

            There’s a gasp, and it’s like she’s unplugged her ears. She can suddenly hear Alec. He’s speaking frantically, despite the calmness in his touch. She wheezes and suddenly lurches forward, hands scrabbling for purchase somewhere, anywhere, that’s solid. She finds his shirt, twists her hands into it and shoves her face into his shoulder.

            “Hey Clary, I need you to breathe for me. Please, just try to take some deep breaths. Just breathe with me, it’s all going to be okay.” Alec is speaking, but the words seem to go in one ear and out the other. Clary isn’t listening.

            Alec knows what this is. Alec has seen this, has been through it himself. An occupational hazard, if you will. This is raw, unadulterated panic. He’d almost been waiting for Clary to have a break down. She’s been through too much for something like this to not happen.

            He squeezes her tightly, tucks her head under his chin and whispers into her hair like any of it will help. But he knows enough, has been through this enough times, it won’t help. It’s like putting a band aide over a stab wound.

            He suddenly realizes that Clary is speaking. Or screaming, more like, but the words don’t make sense. Alec suddenly realizes that he’s actually scared. This is worse than any other panic attack he’s seen or had, and it’s scaring him. He looks up at his sister, mouth open, but before he can speak she nods.

            “I’ll go get him.” And she’s running, practically sprinting, to find Jace, to get him here. Maybe he can help the inconsolable girl.

            “Clary, it’s okay.” Alec continues to speak over her sobbing, hacking screams and coughs when the smell of coppery blood reaches his nose. His own panic takes over and he shoves Clary away from him, maybe rougher than he had expected to.

            There’s blood winding from Clary’s nose, dripping onto the training room floor, but she doesn’t seem to notice, only lunges forward again, buries herself into his shoulder, and keeps screaming.

            It takes record time for Izzy to find Jace and the two of them to return to Alec and Clary entangled on the training room floor. Jace dives to his knees and throws his arms around Clary, locking Alec’s arms around her as well. Surrounded on all sides, the girl seems to calm down. Her shoulders relax and her screams quiet to soft whimpers. Jace is whispering in her ear and his hands are softly massaging her shoulders, kneading all of the knots out of it.

            “When I was young,” Clary hiccups, her rough voice startling the three others in the room, “I was diagnosed with a panic disorder.” She shakes her head, sniffling. “It hasn’t hit me like this in years. I’m sorry.” She looks up and Jace is startled to see blood smeared around her face, still rolling slowly from her nostrils. Jace reaches up and softly wipes the blood from her top lip, smiling softly.

            “Don’t apologize. Not for something like this.” Alec replies. Clary looks up at him, still caged in his arms. “We all have them. It’s hard not to, when you have a life like this. We all get it.” He assures her with a soft smile.

            Clary smiles and nods, allowing the two men to help her up, and suddenly wonders when she’d started seeing Alec like an older brother.


End file.
